There are many places in my writing that topics can be put now.
I just put them where I happen to think they should go as the mood
to write hits me. I have been trying to write every day, but that does
not always happen. The writing comes to me, I have no control. I have
been spending time visiting with friends in a chat room that I love
going to. It is like a big coffee clatch. How I missed that. This one
is different than most I have belonged to though. I always feel so
welcome now. They always greet me like they have missed me so much. That feeling of belonging is so important to me now. I always said I didnt care about those type of things, but we all do. We all feel left out. I left myself out. I did not keep in touch with real life friends because it was just easier to do. I did not get hurt that way, for I was not close enough to anyone to feel that way. I always wonder why I am the person who has to get things together. Organize, arrange. Why do my friends not call me. Yes, I realize they are all busy with their own lives. I have always used that as the excuse of all excuses. Why did no one reach out to me when I was trying to eat myself to death? I got bigger and bigger, but no one said one single word about it to me. I will have to say that it would not have helped anyway. I was not ready to hear anything anyone had to say about it. I was truly trying to accept myself as I was. That is the most difficult thing to do in the world, did you know that? Self love is selfish, etc. I did not mean to wander here. See? My mind has it's own direction to go, no matter what my intent might be to begin with. This is not a bad thing, it is a good thing. "Go with the Flow" is what I will do from now on, let it happen.
I was going to sit here and remember things about my Missouri days again. Those times seem to calm me. I felt good in those days. I felt bad in those days too. I chose to feel good. You see, it IS a choice. I was always doing my best to be Happy. I was back then. I truly believe that. I always remember that Peggy Lee song...."Is That All There Is?" Life is like that. Every day is different...yet some are always the same over and over again. Good. Calm. Some would even say Boring. Routine. I hate routine. I always have. Routine is boring. Give me something different every day. Stimulate me, entertain me. We spend way too much time expecting someone else to make us Happy. Deep inside I think we all know that this is not truly possible. Happiness is a choice. Look at all of the people who have survived horrible trauma in their lives. They can choose to be negative and give up, or they can fight tooth and nail to get better. Some make it, some don't. I want to be one of those who makes it.
I almost wasn't. I am sure had I kept eating my feelings, I would be dead soon. I would no longer feel anything except that continuous feeling of adreniline that eating gives a person for a short time. Maybe adreniline isn't the right word. The right word is probably something to do with hormones or a balance in the system. I cannot think of the word I mean right now...but you know what I mean. That feeling you get after a Holiday meal. All those calories begin to do what they do to your body and for a bit you really feel good. Then the dis-comfort hits and you wonder just how you could eat so very much again! You promise not to do it ever again and yet, you crave those same things again way too soon. Then before you know it, you are addicted to that feeling and want it over and over again. Common sense leaves you. All you can think about is getting that feeling again as soon as possible. It is comfort, joy, satisfaction, lust and last of all, Love. Unadulterated Love. Food is something that won't treat you badly. It won't say mean things about how you look, It won't judge you for any reason whatsoever. It tastes so good, is sweet, salty, all your senses get into it. For a brief time, you can be Happy without even thinking about how. It just happens. I guess you would say my Drug of Choice used to be Food. I could have easily been addicted to many other things, came close at times to that also. Gambling, Drugs, Fast driving. Many more that come to mind also. Why I chose Food, I truly don't know. Perhaps it was because at special occassions, there it was in all its glory. Special cakes, cookies, more cakes, good meats. Good eats. Most of our comfort foods are things that were not expensive when we were growing up. Mac and Cheese, Potatos with lots of Butter, Homemade cakes, pancakes, french toast. I could go on and on. I begin to see more and more how the two things can come together...Love and Food. Love of Food. Food for Love. It certainly worked for me.
The exercise thing...not sure why I did not get into moving more. Most Children do. They cannot wait to go outside and play. I would rather sit and read a book, take a nap, or the newest one, watch television. Would not want to miss a good show! I know part of all this was that my Mom and Dad were so busy trying to put the food on the table and find their own self worth. I read books about "Finding Oneself", "Being What You were put on this Earth to be", things of that nature. Where I was born and raised no one had the time to think about such things. These things alone were the things my Family Dreamed of! Time to sit and relax was very limited. Time to Dream was even less. This said, my Folks and Grandparents still did take the chance to do their own form of Dreaming. Having their own place, not renting anymore. Running their own store, being their own boss. These too, they acheived. Mom went back and got her Teaching degree years after she had us three children. That takes a lot of guts and stamina. I envy her that. She got her Teaching degree in Missouri when I was about 13. It made us all stronger. I had to grow up. I had to learn to cook, such as it was. I never really put much into that process, just enough to get something on the table. I was limited again by money. So many receipes called for things I never had heard of, thus could not buy. I still find this true even today. I do take more chances though, and buy certain foods now that are good for me, no matter what the price. I am worth eating right. I am cooking more now, but not able to share it with my Husband, as he hates the foods I should be eating. He is strictly a Meat and Potatos Man. He would eat Hamburger ever day of the week and sometimes does. I love chicken, turkey, fish...all the foods the body really needs. I always have craved the good foods....just way too much of all of them. I never thought I could get over craving sweets or homemade breads. Once I got switched off of them, it became easier all of the time. I now do not suffer from Heartburn anymore. I used to get it a lot. I was worried I had an ulcer or some such. I believe it was the Bread and starches fermenting with the milk and other foods. Now I know that I cannot eat too much of those things. I do not eat much white flour or other white foods other than potatos. Potatos are the exception to not eating white foods. They are so valuable in nutrition that they excape the rule. I have desserts sometimes when I really am craving them. Spelled backwards, they are stressed. What does that tell us?
This is the first year I did not want or have a Birthday Cake on my Day. I made that CHOICE. This is a landmark accomplishment for me, for sure. We have not had one Birthday Cake for any of our Spring Birthdays. What an amazing thing to have happen. Who knew we could survive without them? The same is true of Chocolate. I have been able to control and limit my intake of this food as well. I have to admit, there are days when I still crave it immensely, but those days are becoming less and less. I find something else sweet to take the place, usually fruit or yogurt. Some things stay in the mind a long long time.
I remember Mom and Dad struggling to feed us when we were little. We never starved, but I think sometimes we came pretty close. Like the times when Dad went Hunting. It was never just for "sport" for him. If he hunted, we would eat it the next meal.
There was one time that he and a bunch of the neighbors got together for a "frog hunt". Yes, we made it into a party of sorts, but we were all pretty hungry. I do not remember much else of what we had at that party, but I do remember thinking that the frog legs were very tasty...like chicken. Everyone jokes about that one, but it is true. There were also Venison feeds. I can still remember how the Elementary School smelled when that Deer was cooking. It had a flavor I still cannot describe. It was not the best taste ever, but it was pretty good barbequed. As I said, anything is tasty when you are hungry enough. We also had to eat a lot of Pheasant and other game birds. Mom got so good at fixing them. I used to watch as she would pick the buckshot out of them....yet we still had to be very careful not to bite down too hard on the meat, for she always seemed to miss some. We raised chickens or someone in the Family did. When Mom was going back to school to get her Teaching degree, Dad began to cook and fix us foods he had while in the Army. I loved Chipped Beef on Toast with gravy.
Have not had that in ages now. I am sure it is not good for the Heart. Lots of things weren't back then. But if they were cheap, we would eat them. We would get together with my Grandparents at Easter and sometimes at Christmas. With my Mother's parents living about 8 hours north of us in Iowa, the times spent with them were very rare. We would always go visit my Dad's Folks a lot though. I think Mom needed the respite from us, so she would leave us there and we would explore and pretend while Mom attended to her College courses. I cannot help but remember these things because now I see my Daughter returning to get her Law Degree and going through some of the same stresses I would see my Mom handle. Mom worked part time also. I know she did not earn much money, but whatever she earned helped to pay the bills and keep us in our home. My Folks even managed to buy a Grocery Store and run it for a while. Mom had been raised helping in my Grandparents Grocery in Iowa, so that came naturally to her. She said they barely could pay the bills of the Store though, because Dad was so kind hearted when folks could not pay their grocery bills at the end of the month.
I will have to ask Dad how long they had the store. I still remember eating Watermelon on the end of the front steps and spitting the seeds down to the ground below. We were told not to swallow them for they might grow a watermelon in our tummies! The things I believed in those days. Its no wonder I am certifiable! Kids are so gullible. I found myself doing similar things later on when raising my own daughters. What goes around comes around as they say. I think the girls are pretty level headed in spite of the things I did....at least so far!
I remember babysitting a little neighbor girl who lived across the street from our store. I would sing the Flying Purple People Eater song to her and make her laugh and giggle out loud. It was a fun song to sing as silly as it was. Even grownups liked it, though most never admitted it. I would go over to see this little girl often as we could swing on her brand new swing set that was store bought....
My parents resented the gifts that my Mom's parents would shower upon us. Strange that I barely remembered those things. When I think hard about it, memories still do come back, though most are only in bits and snatches anymore. Time will do that to one's Memories.I find comfort in the remembering and the telling of those things here as I remember them. Things I had truly forgotten were so enjoyable. Like our cat Fri Fri. He was a gem of a cat. He got a flat nose from us all pushing on it so much.
We got him when my folks had the store. I think someone wanted to get rid of him and his brother or sister. I do not remember the name of that cat. Fri Fri survived the move back from Missouri to Iowa when Mom got a teaching job back near her parents.
I never felt welcome in that community. I wonder if I would have felt welcome anywhere new. I still like things "just so", even when that is a boring thing. Comfort takes many forms I suppose.
Dad would try to give us things to entertain us. I remember one time he put up a Circus type bar in our yard so I could pursue my Dream of being famous one day.
Children tend to Dream of things they cannot be in the real world...or at least I did. I wanted to be on TV, but am truly very shy. My acting attempts were lapluster at best. I never wanted to put the work into them that I should have. Take the easy way, thats me. Guess I was too much afraid of failure to give it my best try. I still tend to be that way today....going along easily. Now I see that that has its good side as well. I tried my best when I was raising my children. I wanted them to have the Life I never had. I let them Dream. I wish I had tried to help them more with that. I too fell into the same dilema as my parents. Too little money, too little time. Spending time trying to earn a dollar and becoming too good at trying to buy my Happiness, and theirs. They say they never felt deprived. I am so glad of that.
There were so many things they did have to do without. Just things though, not anything important to how they turned out. Children will remember the things you do with them more than anything you can buy them. I have seen this time and time again.
I will write more about our new home (new to us) in Fenton after we returned to Iowa at another time. For now, it is time to get going on my walk. The wind is to die down for a bit before the rains begin again. I want to take advantage of that and get in my walk. Even if I do not walk as far, I make the 20 minutes or more, so all is good!
Don't forget to hug someone you love today. Start with yourself!
Hugs n Smooches, Katie
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Friday, April 07, 2006
Family Almost Remembered
These are the Family of my Parents as I remember them now.
Please be patient as it will take time to bring them all back.
My Mother was an only child. Her Parents were Cecil O. Bailey
and Oma A. Bailey. They lived in various towns around Iowa.
I will try to do a trace of where. I am not sure that even
my Dad will remember now. One of the things I regret not asking
back when I had the chance. The thing is, when I could have asked, I was wrapped up in the present, did not see far enough down the line. Now I find comfort in looking back.
I suppose that is what Age can give us. If we choose to receive this gift.
My Grandpa Bailey was a wonderful man. He kept to himself and was pretty quiet. He never spoke much, but when he did, He said things that were awsome. He had been
a Banker back in his younger days, working in two different Banks. Later on when my
Mother was a young child, he and my Grandma Oma bought a plot of land in a very small town called Seneca. It had been named after the Seneca Indians who used to roam near that area. On this plot of land was a nice home, several apartments in a one floor complex, and the Grocery Store/Gas Station/Repair shop. I spoke a bit about this in a previous writing.
There were several other houses in this very tiny town. As the years went by, more and more of the homes disappeared as folks moved away and the buildings tumbled
down and were then torn down or burned.
There had been a School there for many many years. This was a brick building much like some schools still use today. There used to be one just like it here in the town in which I live now. This school also went the way of those other buildings. For a long time afterwards, the playground equipment remained for those remaining children in the town to use for exercise and fun, and sometimes even torment. (more about this in another story).
I am getting away from where I wanted this story to lead. I am trying to recall what my Grandmother's History was before she married my Grandfather. I know that they both Graduated from the Same High School much earlier in life. They graduated a few years apart in the early part of the Century, around 1917 or so. I also do not know how soon after that they married. This is a perplexing thing to me, for any history of this that I could have gleamed is now lost for all of the Family who knew are long
dead. I would have to contact some of my Mother's cousins to get the information.
Perhaps I will do that someday soon. I have always wanted to look into it. I will put it on my List of things to do. I love looking into past information and can almost see the travels of the people back then when I do read such things. I did a bit of geneology searching about 2 years ago, and ran into some dead ends, so gave up for a while. I will soon get back to it. There has to be some sort of link to get me to that one generation that is skipped in the search.
My Grandmother Oma had one Sister, Orma. She had a brother Roscoe who died while still fairly young. Her other brother was Weber. He used to drive the School Bus
I rode on for a while until he retired and his Son Clarence took over. They both had driven for many years before they retired. Both are long gone now. So are my Grandma Oma and her Sister Orma and brother Weber. If there were other Siblings, I have no recollection of them at this time. Who knows what memories will come back to me. I find them flooding back more every time I write.
I used to get to go to my Mom's Cousin's houses to play when I was about ten years old. We had moved to Missouri, but returned when I was just starting to go through puberty. Not a good time for any young woman...trust me. So many rapid changes, the body cannot keep up, let alone the mind! (Again off track)
There was Marlin Wegener and his wife Gladys. They had a large family. I remember
Karen, Beth Ann, and David. The other's names won't come right now. Now that I remember, these children belonged to Marlin's Sister. Her last name was Feye and I used to babysit for their children. The only one who's name I can get back now is Debbie. She hurt her nose on a barbed wire fence one time when we were visiting.
It was getting dark and she couldn't see where the fence was. She fell into it and I can still remember her screams to this day. She was ok, just cut up and needed some stitches in her nose. Nowdays they would just super glue the cut sides together!
Weber's wife's name was Nettie. I always liked to go there because she always put up a lunch which they called a coffee. It came from the years on the Farm making food for the Threshers or the neighbors during Harvest time. I always did like fancy foods!
Clarence's wifes name is Helen and I saw her a few years ago at Mom's Funeral.
She has not changed one bit since when I knew her many years ago. They had several children, all much older than us. Gee whiz, I cannot even remember Grandma's maiden name right now. I hope these things will return as I continue to write on.
I remember Orma was married to a Farmer who was a mean son of a gun, to hear my Grandma tell it. One of those that thinks Women and children are little more than property. Hard working women who suffered abuses that no one should have to feel.
I liked the Coffees then. They used the good china and teacups. They put fancy napkins out and silverware that they spend much time cleaning. I helped do that one time and trust me, the newer silverware is MUCH nicer. I don't know where Mom's Silverware Box went. I know I didn't want it at the time because of the cleaning thing. Tarnished Silverware is not very attractive.
I felt like a Princess when we attended these parties. People got together for entertainment back then. They would play cards or converse and in later times,
watch TV.
I will do some thinking to try and come up with more names of the lost cousins.
Until that time, I need a snooze. Hugs all, enjoy!
Don't forget that HUG!!!
Katie
Please be patient as it will take time to bring them all back.
My Mother was an only child. Her Parents were Cecil O. Bailey
and Oma A. Bailey. They lived in various towns around Iowa.
I will try to do a trace of where. I am not sure that even
my Dad will remember now. One of the things I regret not asking
back when I had the chance. The thing is, when I could have asked, I was wrapped up in the present, did not see far enough down the line. Now I find comfort in looking back.
I suppose that is what Age can give us. If we choose to receive this gift.
My Grandpa Bailey was a wonderful man. He kept to himself and was pretty quiet. He never spoke much, but when he did, He said things that were awsome. He had been
a Banker back in his younger days, working in two different Banks. Later on when my
Mother was a young child, he and my Grandma Oma bought a plot of land in a very small town called Seneca. It had been named after the Seneca Indians who used to roam near that area. On this plot of land was a nice home, several apartments in a one floor complex, and the Grocery Store/Gas Station/Repair shop. I spoke a bit about this in a previous writing.
There were several other houses in this very tiny town. As the years went by, more and more of the homes disappeared as folks moved away and the buildings tumbled
down and were then torn down or burned.
There had been a School there for many many years. This was a brick building much like some schools still use today. There used to be one just like it here in the town in which I live now. This school also went the way of those other buildings. For a long time afterwards, the playground equipment remained for those remaining children in the town to use for exercise and fun, and sometimes even torment. (more about this in another story).
I am getting away from where I wanted this story to lead. I am trying to recall what my Grandmother's History was before she married my Grandfather. I know that they both Graduated from the Same High School much earlier in life. They graduated a few years apart in the early part of the Century, around 1917 or so. I also do not know how soon after that they married. This is a perplexing thing to me, for any history of this that I could have gleamed is now lost for all of the Family who knew are long
dead. I would have to contact some of my Mother's cousins to get the information.
Perhaps I will do that someday soon. I have always wanted to look into it. I will put it on my List of things to do. I love looking into past information and can almost see the travels of the people back then when I do read such things. I did a bit of geneology searching about 2 years ago, and ran into some dead ends, so gave up for a while. I will soon get back to it. There has to be some sort of link to get me to that one generation that is skipped in the search.
My Grandmother Oma had one Sister, Orma. She had a brother Roscoe who died while still fairly young. Her other brother was Weber. He used to drive the School Bus
I rode on for a while until he retired and his Son Clarence took over. They both had driven for many years before they retired. Both are long gone now. So are my Grandma Oma and her Sister Orma and brother Weber. If there were other Siblings, I have no recollection of them at this time. Who knows what memories will come back to me. I find them flooding back more every time I write.
I used to get to go to my Mom's Cousin's houses to play when I was about ten years old. We had moved to Missouri, but returned when I was just starting to go through puberty. Not a good time for any young woman...trust me. So many rapid changes, the body cannot keep up, let alone the mind! (Again off track)
There was Marlin Wegener and his wife Gladys. They had a large family. I remember
Karen, Beth Ann, and David. The other's names won't come right now. Now that I remember, these children belonged to Marlin's Sister. Her last name was Feye and I used to babysit for their children. The only one who's name I can get back now is Debbie. She hurt her nose on a barbed wire fence one time when we were visiting.
It was getting dark and she couldn't see where the fence was. She fell into it and I can still remember her screams to this day. She was ok, just cut up and needed some stitches in her nose. Nowdays they would just super glue the cut sides together!
Weber's wife's name was Nettie. I always liked to go there because she always put up a lunch which they called a coffee. It came from the years on the Farm making food for the Threshers or the neighbors during Harvest time. I always did like fancy foods!
Clarence's wifes name is Helen and I saw her a few years ago at Mom's Funeral.
She has not changed one bit since when I knew her many years ago. They had several children, all much older than us. Gee whiz, I cannot even remember Grandma's maiden name right now. I hope these things will return as I continue to write on.
I remember Orma was married to a Farmer who was a mean son of a gun, to hear my Grandma tell it. One of those that thinks Women and children are little more than property. Hard working women who suffered abuses that no one should have to feel.
I liked the Coffees then. They used the good china and teacups. They put fancy napkins out and silverware that they spend much time cleaning. I helped do that one time and trust me, the newer silverware is MUCH nicer. I don't know where Mom's Silverware Box went. I know I didn't want it at the time because of the cleaning thing. Tarnished Silverware is not very attractive.
I felt like a Princess when we attended these parties. People got together for entertainment back then. They would play cards or converse and in later times,
watch TV.
I will do some thinking to try and come up with more names of the lost cousins.
Until that time, I need a snooze. Hugs all, enjoy!
Don't forget that HUG!!!
Katie
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
The Store
Grandpa's Store was always a fun place to visit. It was like he owned this Kingdom. Especially to a young girl like me. My main memories were from when I was about seven until ten years old. There were so many wonderful smells in that place. It was a somewhat large square building with open space everywhere except where goods were piled or arranged on wooden shelves.
It was amazing. There was a smell of the pink cleaner he always used to clean the floor. It was just called Sweeping compound as far as I know. My husband remembers it being called that. I just remember how it smelled and how I used to watch my Grandpa clean the floor with it. He sometimes even let me help when he was feeling particularly patient and work was not in a rush. He used to sit and play Cribbage a lot in the "back room". There were always several regulars there playing cards, having coffee or just generally shooting the breeze. It was the local gathering spot around the area. Being a rural place, farmers would come in for goods and sometimes could take a few extra minutes to relax before going back to their work. Grandma was known for putting the coffee pot on at the drop of a hat. There was even occasional fresh home baked goodies offered or brought in, too. Even when passing the time, the folks seldom stayed very long, only a few minutes, but the entertainment materials were many. Stories came out about so and so. Or, weather will be changing soon. Miss Molly the teacher has a male friend. The regular, tame gossip. No harm was meant, it was just conversation. There was no television yet, so self entertainment had to be it. I was always reading something when possible.
There was a special Meat Counter. It was always stocked to the hilt with the normal fare. I do not remember how it got there, but I assume it was delivered. I do not want to think of where else it could have come from. I know he didn't butcher it himself! I have had more time to think about it and I believe that he may have had it delivered by the local Locker. Those meats were always piled high and seemed to go quickly whenever a customer would arrive. I don't remember a meal without it, though sometimes there was not a lot of it. I was pretty little at that time and did not worry on such matters. My favorite was the different choices of lunch meat! It was a sandwich heaven!
There was a wooden glass candy cabinet too. It was a large rectangle box with glass on three sides. It
always amazed me to see how many different kinds of candy he had there available to buy. It opened on the back side with a latch.This was the only wooden side and made access easy. He said it was the only way to keep the penny candy from leaving without getting paid for, even back then! Guess certain things are just too much to pass up. I know I was guilty of taking a piece of bubble gum one time. It bothered me for a very very long time...till I fessed up and he forgave me. Trust me, I never ever did any stealing again, ever! We kids used to get to eat whatever sandwiches we wanted when we were visiting there. Usually Grandpa would make us up one with mayonnaise or pickles or whatever we were in the mood for. Sometimes Grandma would bake or cook for lunch, but most of the time it was a quick lunch and something more grand for supper hour. She always had some sort of very good meal there waiting for us hot and simmering when we got home from the store. She would either start something before she went over to work in the store, or she would leave early in the afternoon to begin something.
There were only a few houses in the town, Seneca. It is still there, but the store isn't. It has been gone for many years now. The town had been larger, but over the years, folks either moved away or found jobs away, or both. In the last few years of the store, it became pretty much like a little ghost town. So are all the people who lived there then, dead and long buried. Sometimes I wish I could go back then just to observe more things that I never paid attention to. The memories of that place have faded as the years have gone on. By the time I was big enough to spend time in the store, a lot of the business had ended. The changing tires, repairing engines, etc. were a thing long gone then. Grandpa used to have a hired man who did the garage part and when he left, it was just stopped. They demolished the store sometime in the seventies. I remember being really sad when we drove by and saw what had been done. It had been a big deal when my grandma sold the store. Grandpa had died at 68 and she lost the will and strength to keep it going. It was for sale a long time. Then Grandma got the great idea to advertise the sale as "A whole town". That seemed to peak interest and a buyer gave her a good offer and the deal was done. Grandma sold the entire property in 1968. It was then auctioned off because the people did not want the store stuff at all. Sad now that I think about it. The guy who bought it was going to raise critters for their fur. I am not sure if that ever happened or not. I don't remember seeing any evidence of that, but seeing the house go downhill was not easy either. I always loved that house. There was also an apartment complex with 2 apartments that went along with the sale.
There used to be a public school there too. My folks had gone together when they were very young, about 13 i think. At least that is the way my Dad remembers it. They were just friends for a while, the love came later. But, he said he always liked my Mom from the first time they had met. They had a "puppy love" he said. I know how much he still misses her. He is doing well at getting on with Life, it is just difficult to lose someone you have been with for 67 years.
Seneca had my Grandparents house, the apartments that they rented which were motel rooms earlier on before I was born. They were fun to see the inside of, but I do not remember much about them now. I do remember a picture or two of us standing beside it. It was some sort of stucco I believe...at least that is the way I remember it now. Then the store was next to that. They had gas pumps and a area to work on cars on the east side of it. My Grandpa did it all, so did Grandma. They could work on any type or model and it did not take all day either. I look back at what they did, and I am amazed. They also figured Taxes for the area people whenever that time of year came around. There was always a promotion of some sort going on. One that I remember is the one where you would buy so many groceries, then you could buy plates to complete a dish set when you had enough points or stickers. Sort of like S & H Greenstamps, remember them? Or Raliegh Cigerettes promotion. There was a stamp or so on each package of cigerrettes. My Dad collected them, as did his parents.
They were not aware of the dangers of the awful weed back then. Dad says the government even provided them free for all who were overseas. Who knew?
I will have to continue more about Seneca at another time. Now the couch calls me.
And it is time to answer. I have been having a problem with a muscle in my back since yesterday. It is very painful when i turn a certain way or bend down or up. The only thing I can figure out that I did was when I was holding Hunter yesterday, getting up and down off of the couch, and feeding him and the getting up and down off the floor a few times. Dang, it ain't easy aging! But it beats the alternative~!
Hugs
Katie
It was amazing. There was a smell of the pink cleaner he always used to clean the floor. It was just called Sweeping compound as far as I know. My husband remembers it being called that. I just remember how it smelled and how I used to watch my Grandpa clean the floor with it. He sometimes even let me help when he was feeling particularly patient and work was not in a rush. He used to sit and play Cribbage a lot in the "back room". There were always several regulars there playing cards, having coffee or just generally shooting the breeze. It was the local gathering spot around the area. Being a rural place, farmers would come in for goods and sometimes could take a few extra minutes to relax before going back to their work. Grandma was known for putting the coffee pot on at the drop of a hat. There was even occasional fresh home baked goodies offered or brought in, too. Even when passing the time, the folks seldom stayed very long, only a few minutes, but the entertainment materials were many. Stories came out about so and so. Or, weather will be changing soon. Miss Molly the teacher has a male friend. The regular, tame gossip. No harm was meant, it was just conversation. There was no television yet, so self entertainment had to be it. I was always reading something when possible.
There was a special Meat Counter. It was always stocked to the hilt with the normal fare. I do not remember how it got there, but I assume it was delivered. I do not want to think of where else it could have come from. I know he didn't butcher it himself! I have had more time to think about it and I believe that he may have had it delivered by the local Locker. Those meats were always piled high and seemed to go quickly whenever a customer would arrive. I don't remember a meal without it, though sometimes there was not a lot of it. I was pretty little at that time and did not worry on such matters. My favorite was the different choices of lunch meat! It was a sandwich heaven!
There was a wooden glass candy cabinet too. It was a large rectangle box with glass on three sides. It
always amazed me to see how many different kinds of candy he had there available to buy. It opened on the back side with a latch.This was the only wooden side and made access easy. He said it was the only way to keep the penny candy from leaving without getting paid for, even back then! Guess certain things are just too much to pass up. I know I was guilty of taking a piece of bubble gum one time. It bothered me for a very very long time...till I fessed up and he forgave me. Trust me, I never ever did any stealing again, ever! We kids used to get to eat whatever sandwiches we wanted when we were visiting there. Usually Grandpa would make us up one with mayonnaise or pickles or whatever we were in the mood for. Sometimes Grandma would bake or cook for lunch, but most of the time it was a quick lunch and something more grand for supper hour. She always had some sort of very good meal there waiting for us hot and simmering when we got home from the store. She would either start something before she went over to work in the store, or she would leave early in the afternoon to begin something.
There were only a few houses in the town, Seneca. It is still there, but the store isn't. It has been gone for many years now. The town had been larger, but over the years, folks either moved away or found jobs away, or both. In the last few years of the store, it became pretty much like a little ghost town. So are all the people who lived there then, dead and long buried. Sometimes I wish I could go back then just to observe more things that I never paid attention to. The memories of that place have faded as the years have gone on. By the time I was big enough to spend time in the store, a lot of the business had ended. The changing tires, repairing engines, etc. were a thing long gone then. Grandpa used to have a hired man who did the garage part and when he left, it was just stopped. They demolished the store sometime in the seventies. I remember being really sad when we drove by and saw what had been done. It had been a big deal when my grandma sold the store. Grandpa had died at 68 and she lost the will and strength to keep it going. It was for sale a long time. Then Grandma got the great idea to advertise the sale as "A whole town". That seemed to peak interest and a buyer gave her a good offer and the deal was done. Grandma sold the entire property in 1968. It was then auctioned off because the people did not want the store stuff at all. Sad now that I think about it. The guy who bought it was going to raise critters for their fur. I am not sure if that ever happened or not. I don't remember seeing any evidence of that, but seeing the house go downhill was not easy either. I always loved that house. There was also an apartment complex with 2 apartments that went along with the sale.
There used to be a public school there too. My folks had gone together when they were very young, about 13 i think. At least that is the way my Dad remembers it. They were just friends for a while, the love came later. But, he said he always liked my Mom from the first time they had met. They had a "puppy love" he said. I know how much he still misses her. He is doing well at getting on with Life, it is just difficult to lose someone you have been with for 67 years.
Seneca had my Grandparents house, the apartments that they rented which were motel rooms earlier on before I was born. They were fun to see the inside of, but I do not remember much about them now. I do remember a picture or two of us standing beside it. It was some sort of stucco I believe...at least that is the way I remember it now. Then the store was next to that. They had gas pumps and a area to work on cars on the east side of it. My Grandpa did it all, so did Grandma. They could work on any type or model and it did not take all day either. I look back at what they did, and I am amazed. They also figured Taxes for the area people whenever that time of year came around. There was always a promotion of some sort going on. One that I remember is the one where you would buy so many groceries, then you could buy plates to complete a dish set when you had enough points or stickers. Sort of like S & H Greenstamps, remember them? Or Raliegh Cigerettes promotion. There was a stamp or so on each package of cigerrettes. My Dad collected them, as did his parents.
They were not aware of the dangers of the awful weed back then. Dad says the government even provided them free for all who were overseas. Who knew?
I will have to continue more about Seneca at another time. Now the couch calls me.
And it is time to answer. I have been having a problem with a muscle in my back since yesterday. It is very painful when i turn a certain way or bend down or up. The only thing I can figure out that I did was when I was holding Hunter yesterday, getting up and down off of the couch, and feeding him and the getting up and down off the floor a few times. Dang, it ain't easy aging! But it beats the alternative~!
Hugs
Katie
Dreamy Days
As we come upon Spring...as it Sprungs, or is that Sprangs? hehe....Anyway.
This time of Year is Bittersweet to me. It is my favorite time of the
year, the time of newness, rebirth, proof of Life going on.
As you know from other writings, it is bitter as well because my Family
lost our dear Wife and Mother in May 2003. Her birth month as well as her
mothers. The month after mine, almost to the day. Several months
after my brother George(February 19), and Jim (March19). Her illness
began on my Dad(Sheldon Junior)'s Birthday on the 25th of March.
My Dad's brother Don's Birthday is in June as was their Dad, Sheldon Senior,
June 14. I have forgotten Don's actual Birthday, will have to ask someonethat. I know they always would celebrate them at the same time, always
around Easter....so you can well see why it is Bittersweet.
I remember growing up when we lived in Missouri, it was one of the
favorite times of the year because my Grandparents from Iowa,
Grandpa Cecil and Grandma Oma would come down to visit us, or in
later years, we would go up to visit them. Those visits were not
very often, as the distance was so far. It would take about 7 or
8 hours in those earlier days because the roads were so winding.
Later on there were some straighter stretches built in so that the world
could move ever faster...as it continues to do.
We would nearly always get to celebrate Easter with our visiting
Iowa Grandparents. That was always fun as they always brought us wonderful
goodies. Things my parents could not afford. I think they really loved
showering us with gifts. I certainly understand that now as we do
that with our two Grandsons, Tyler and Hunter. There were Toy Pedal
Airplanes, Wagons, various Easter Baskets, always brimming with
candy and toys. I still to this day do not understand why my parents
always felt bad about those gifts. I still remember the clothes
Mom made us...we were always "spiffin" in our homemade clothes.
She was the one who felt that we were poor, we children never did.
I have asked both Jim and George and they agreed with me.
One special gift one Easter that we received were pet Bunnies.
I could not believe that they brought those Rabbits clear down
to us in their car! My Grandad always prized his vehicles and kept
immaculate care of them. So, for him to do such a thing really
did prove how much he loved to bring us exciting gifts! I wonder
how my Grandma talked him into it? I bet that was one heated
conversation! My Grandmother pretty much wore the pants in their
Family, at least as far as I can remember. If she said it, it got
done. My Grandfather was a Romantic married to a Practical. He would
always buy her expensive, loving gifts. She always put them in
a box or cupboard and never very often wore them. She did not
want anyone to think she was flaunting their well being. I would say
Wealth, but I do not think they were really wealthy. They always
were able to dress nice, and Granddad loved dressing her in
beautiful clothes. I remember looking in her closet and not believing
all the wonderful clothes in there. She would let me play Dress Up
in them! I remember the smell of that Closet. Not Musty, but a smell
of perfume and leather. She had several Delicate hats which later in
her Life, she began to wear often. She had a Fox Stole! It was kinda
creepy to me, but I knew it had been expensive to buy. I wonder
if she ever wanted a Fur Coat? I don't remember seeing one of those
in there. She probably was too practical to want one. I have inherited
most of her remaining jewelry. I do not know if I got all of it or
where it went if I didn't. I have several of her rings though,
and although they aren't really worth a lot of money, they mean
the world to me just seeing the history of wear on them. I prize
them very much. I also have some of my Mother's rings. I regret
that she always wanted Dad to buy her a decent wedding ring. He
tried, but I think she always wanted that but never asked for it.
She told me one time that she did so. I think she regretted it too.
Dad was a Practical....to a fault. Too many days of being so poor
instilled it into him I think. He loved Mom beyond words or writing,
but that is one thing that I would suppose he never knew because
she never said a word.
I remember having Easter egg hunts every Easter as well. Wherever
we were, whether at our home or visiting Family. That Easter Bunny
was just as wise as Santa. I always wondered if they used the same
list. :)
I remember the grass turning green was always a first sign of Spring
soon to come. That and the Robins returning. That song is always so
welcome to me. Spring always comes earlier in Missouri that it does
in Iowa. The temperatures are usually a bit warmer about a month
sooner there. I say this as in the past. Nowdays I believe they are
nearer the same time. Missouri seems to get more weather like we used
to here. More Snow storms than ever back then. A Snow with much
accumulation was rare there. Now they seem to get almost as much
Snow as we do here.
This Spring is also made sweet by enjoying time spent with our
Daughters and Families. Having people who care for you, celebrate
with you is so wonderful. The two Grandsons growing so fast also
make Spring more Springlike. The Joys of spending time with them
and doing fun things is time well spent.
My Health concerns are improving. I am responding to the medicines
and will have a good checkup at my Surgeon's office tomorrow, I feel it!
I have lost 60 pounds since I realized when Tyler was a baby that it was
time to fix me. I could not change the past or my reaction to it. I
could not go back and make amends for things that should have been done,
but I know now that I can only move forward. I have to take care of me
and what is to come now....a rebirth of myself as well as the Spring.
I LOVE the newer me. I know I am worthy of this change, I deserve it, I deserve to brag a little and to celebrate Life! I almost lost that...so I am doubly thankful.
Well, Dear Folks, My hands are hurting from typing and other chores,
so I will bid you adeiu till the next time the writing bug tells me
to get in touch with you again.
Keep your sights on today. Enjoy it, don't waste time worrying about
tomorrow. It will be here way too soon!
Sleep Well, rest your weary Soul, and be as good as You can.
Love you, and hug yourself and someone you Love today.
Katie
This time of Year is Bittersweet to me. It is my favorite time of the
year, the time of newness, rebirth, proof of Life going on.
As you know from other writings, it is bitter as well because my Family
lost our dear Wife and Mother in May 2003. Her birth month as well as her
mothers. The month after mine, almost to the day. Several months
after my brother George(February 19), and Jim (March19). Her illness
began on my Dad(Sheldon Junior)'s Birthday on the 25th of March.
My Dad's brother Don's Birthday is in June as was their Dad, Sheldon Senior,
June 14. I have forgotten Don's actual Birthday, will have to ask someonethat. I know they always would celebrate them at the same time, always
around Easter....so you can well see why it is Bittersweet.
I remember growing up when we lived in Missouri, it was one of the
favorite times of the year because my Grandparents from Iowa,
Grandpa Cecil and Grandma Oma would come down to visit us, or in
later years, we would go up to visit them. Those visits were not
very often, as the distance was so far. It would take about 7 or
8 hours in those earlier days because the roads were so winding.
Later on there were some straighter stretches built in so that the world
could move ever faster...as it continues to do.
We would nearly always get to celebrate Easter with our visiting
Iowa Grandparents. That was always fun as they always brought us wonderful
goodies. Things my parents could not afford. I think they really loved
showering us with gifts. I certainly understand that now as we do
that with our two Grandsons, Tyler and Hunter. There were Toy Pedal
Airplanes, Wagons, various Easter Baskets, always brimming with
candy and toys. I still to this day do not understand why my parents
always felt bad about those gifts. I still remember the clothes
Mom made us...we were always "spiffin" in our homemade clothes.
She was the one who felt that we were poor, we children never did.
I have asked both Jim and George and they agreed with me.
One special gift one Easter that we received were pet Bunnies.
I could not believe that they brought those Rabbits clear down
to us in their car! My Grandad always prized his vehicles and kept
immaculate care of them. So, for him to do such a thing really
did prove how much he loved to bring us exciting gifts! I wonder
how my Grandma talked him into it? I bet that was one heated
conversation! My Grandmother pretty much wore the pants in their
Family, at least as far as I can remember. If she said it, it got
done. My Grandfather was a Romantic married to a Practical. He would
always buy her expensive, loving gifts. She always put them in
a box or cupboard and never very often wore them. She did not
want anyone to think she was flaunting their well being. I would say
Wealth, but I do not think they were really wealthy. They always
were able to dress nice, and Granddad loved dressing her in
beautiful clothes. I remember looking in her closet and not believing
all the wonderful clothes in there. She would let me play Dress Up
in them! I remember the smell of that Closet. Not Musty, but a smell
of perfume and leather. She had several Delicate hats which later in
her Life, she began to wear often. She had a Fox Stole! It was kinda
creepy to me, but I knew it had been expensive to buy. I wonder
if she ever wanted a Fur Coat? I don't remember seeing one of those
in there. She probably was too practical to want one. I have inherited
most of her remaining jewelry. I do not know if I got all of it or
where it went if I didn't. I have several of her rings though,
and although they aren't really worth a lot of money, they mean
the world to me just seeing the history of wear on them. I prize
them very much. I also have some of my Mother's rings. I regret
that she always wanted Dad to buy her a decent wedding ring. He
tried, but I think she always wanted that but never asked for it.
She told me one time that she did so. I think she regretted it too.
Dad was a Practical....to a fault. Too many days of being so poor
instilled it into him I think. He loved Mom beyond words or writing,
but that is one thing that I would suppose he never knew because
she never said a word.
I remember having Easter egg hunts every Easter as well. Wherever
we were, whether at our home or visiting Family. That Easter Bunny
was just as wise as Santa. I always wondered if they used the same
list. :)
I remember the grass turning green was always a first sign of Spring
soon to come. That and the Robins returning. That song is always so
welcome to me. Spring always comes earlier in Missouri that it does
in Iowa. The temperatures are usually a bit warmer about a month
sooner there. I say this as in the past. Nowdays I believe they are
nearer the same time. Missouri seems to get more weather like we used
to here. More Snow storms than ever back then. A Snow with much
accumulation was rare there. Now they seem to get almost as much
Snow as we do here.
This Spring is also made sweet by enjoying time spent with our
Daughters and Families. Having people who care for you, celebrate
with you is so wonderful. The two Grandsons growing so fast also
make Spring more Springlike. The Joys of spending time with them
and doing fun things is time well spent.
My Health concerns are improving. I am responding to the medicines
and will have a good checkup at my Surgeon's office tomorrow, I feel it!
I have lost 60 pounds since I realized when Tyler was a baby that it was
time to fix me. I could not change the past or my reaction to it. I
could not go back and make amends for things that should have been done,
but I know now that I can only move forward. I have to take care of me
and what is to come now....a rebirth of myself as well as the Spring.
I LOVE the newer me. I know I am worthy of this change, I deserve it, I deserve to brag a little and to celebrate Life! I almost lost that...so I am doubly thankful.
Well, Dear Folks, My hands are hurting from typing and other chores,
so I will bid you adeiu till the next time the writing bug tells me
to get in touch with you again.
Keep your sights on today. Enjoy it, don't waste time worrying about
tomorrow. It will be here way too soon!
Sleep Well, rest your weary Soul, and be as good as You can.
Love you, and hug yourself and someone you Love today.
Katie
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
More Memories of Back Then
I was born in 1950 in a Hospital in Southern Missouri, Springfield. I don't remember much of those days, only what I see when I look back at pictures taken when my Mother's
parents would come down from Seneca Iowa to visit. They must have come down fairly often, for there are many pictures from those times. I remember the clothes and hats.
Fun things. We must have made many a fashion statement. Mom was an avid seamstress even back then. I have always been jealous of her skills in that department. I never thought I could measure up to it, so only sewed for a little time when I was raising my girls.
She was a good cook too apparently, for I became a chubby child at about puberty time.
As I look back on that time, I realize I was a victim of circumstances and of poor self esteem as well. I wonder if I wasn't born with that insecurity? I never will know about that, but all of this remembering is helping me to learn to like me for the way I am, and to love me too. At last, I feel worthy of being loved and of loving myself.
Did not mean to go there. We moved back to Iowa in 1963. I was just going into Junior High School. I was excited to move to Iowa. There was really nothing I had in Missouri that was keeping me there. I was changing to a new school the next year anyway. I knew I would not miss my chore of carrying out the waste to the outside
toilet. Nor would I miss those Hornets that bombarded me every time I tried to do so.
The house in Iowa was much larger. We would each have our own room with a storage room upstairs too. The big plus was the indoor flush toilet! What a luxury that seemed at the time.
I was not full of regret to be moving to Iowa. I had a few friends I would miss, but not that many. One of my best ever friends moved just before I found out we were going, so I was Happy to leave. I would miss our Grandparents and my Aunt and Uncle and Cousins that still lived there, but we would also be back close to my other Grandparents, so that trade off was not too bad.
By this time, there were three of us children. My older brother Jim and my younger brother George. Jim is 2 years older than me and George is 3 years younger.
As I look back now, I was always a loner. I was always happier when I played with my doggies or kitties. They loved me unconditionally. My imagination was another of my best friends. When I was climbing that tree, or walking along that old broken down wall, I was in full control of things. It was the only time I felt really good.
There was no pressure to behave, no one to tell me what I did was wrong or right.
No peer pressures to deal with. No teachers or parents bossing me around. Do this,
don't do that, get over here and finish this...these chores need to be done now!
Stop that dreaming, it will not get you anywhere. Oh, if they had only let me believe in those Dreams. I understand now why they said those things. There was no time for lolly gagging or dreaming. Just work to be done. Day Dreaming was not productive.
I wonder if I had only talked to Mom about it, if she would have understood. I needed that time to be a Dreamer. I needed to feel good about things, even if they were only in my head.
I wonder now if she were Manic Depressive as well. I remember when I see pictures of her when she was young, she always seemed blue or sad. She looked like she was where she didn't want to be and doing things just because she had to fill the status quo.
How many folks get "stunted" in their abilities by being put into this rigid structure. I know that structure is important in Life. It is how things get done.
Routines show us that Life is normal. They help us to deal with many things for our working life. But, there are many other jobs that are important too that require a person to Dream. To reach, to accomplish. Where would we be without the Dreamers?
I think of Jim Henson often. He really had it figured out. Except that he gave up too much of himself. He couldn't stop to take care of himself. He didn't listen to his inner self and kept pushing. He left a wonderful legacy. We all owe him a lot.
But, wouldn't it be wonderful if he were still here?
I had some feelings not too long ago about my Life. It was a huge warning to me.
That made me sit up and take notice and finally listen to what my body was warning me about. I knew I had to stop what I was doing, the path I was on. I truly believe that had I not done so, I would have had a Heart attack or Stroke by now.
Anyway, I was going to tell more about my house in Iowa. I will have to continue with that at a later time. Now I have errands to run and lunch to have with my dear family.
Hugs to you all, and don't forget to hug yourself, it is perfectly ok, and even needed now and again. We need to be our own best friends. We need to treat ourselves as we treat others we love. We need to do so now!
Bye for now, Next time, more about my New Iowa Home!
*smooch* Katie
parents would come down from Seneca Iowa to visit. They must have come down fairly often, for there are many pictures from those times. I remember the clothes and hats.
Fun things. We must have made many a fashion statement. Mom was an avid seamstress even back then. I have always been jealous of her skills in that department. I never thought I could measure up to it, so only sewed for a little time when I was raising my girls.
She was a good cook too apparently, for I became a chubby child at about puberty time.
As I look back on that time, I realize I was a victim of circumstances and of poor self esteem as well. I wonder if I wasn't born with that insecurity? I never will know about that, but all of this remembering is helping me to learn to like me for the way I am, and to love me too. At last, I feel worthy of being loved and of loving myself.
Did not mean to go there. We moved back to Iowa in 1963. I was just going into Junior High School. I was excited to move to Iowa. There was really nothing I had in Missouri that was keeping me there. I was changing to a new school the next year anyway. I knew I would not miss my chore of carrying out the waste to the outside
toilet. Nor would I miss those Hornets that bombarded me every time I tried to do so.
The house in Iowa was much larger. We would each have our own room with a storage room upstairs too. The big plus was the indoor flush toilet! What a luxury that seemed at the time.
I was not full of regret to be moving to Iowa. I had a few friends I would miss, but not that many. One of my best ever friends moved just before I found out we were going, so I was Happy to leave. I would miss our Grandparents and my Aunt and Uncle and Cousins that still lived there, but we would also be back close to my other Grandparents, so that trade off was not too bad.
By this time, there were three of us children. My older brother Jim and my younger brother George. Jim is 2 years older than me and George is 3 years younger.
As I look back now, I was always a loner. I was always happier when I played with my doggies or kitties. They loved me unconditionally. My imagination was another of my best friends. When I was climbing that tree, or walking along that old broken down wall, I was in full control of things. It was the only time I felt really good.
There was no pressure to behave, no one to tell me what I did was wrong or right.
No peer pressures to deal with. No teachers or parents bossing me around. Do this,
don't do that, get over here and finish this...these chores need to be done now!
Stop that dreaming, it will not get you anywhere. Oh, if they had only let me believe in those Dreams. I understand now why they said those things. There was no time for lolly gagging or dreaming. Just work to be done. Day Dreaming was not productive.
I wonder if I had only talked to Mom about it, if she would have understood. I needed that time to be a Dreamer. I needed to feel good about things, even if they were only in my head.
I wonder now if she were Manic Depressive as well. I remember when I see pictures of her when she was young, she always seemed blue or sad. She looked like she was where she didn't want to be and doing things just because she had to fill the status quo.
How many folks get "stunted" in their abilities by being put into this rigid structure. I know that structure is important in Life. It is how things get done.
Routines show us that Life is normal. They help us to deal with many things for our working life. But, there are many other jobs that are important too that require a person to Dream. To reach, to accomplish. Where would we be without the Dreamers?
I think of Jim Henson often. He really had it figured out. Except that he gave up too much of himself. He couldn't stop to take care of himself. He didn't listen to his inner self and kept pushing. He left a wonderful legacy. We all owe him a lot.
But, wouldn't it be wonderful if he were still here?
I had some feelings not too long ago about my Life. It was a huge warning to me.
That made me sit up and take notice and finally listen to what my body was warning me about. I knew I had to stop what I was doing, the path I was on. I truly believe that had I not done so, I would have had a Heart attack or Stroke by now.
Anyway, I was going to tell more about my house in Iowa. I will have to continue with that at a later time. Now I have errands to run and lunch to have with my dear family.
Hugs to you all, and don't forget to hug yourself, it is perfectly ok, and even needed now and again. We need to be our own best friends. We need to treat ourselves as we treat others we love. We need to do so now!
Bye for now, Next time, more about my New Iowa Home!
*smooch* Katie
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